A blog about stuff white people don't like

Because white people dislike a lot more stuff than they like.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008


Because white people don't know what the words mean.

btw: definitions of "supaman dat hoe" and "crunk" can be found here and here

Monday, March 3, 2008


White people don't like cigarettes. They think smoking is a disgusting habit in which they are far too intelligent to participate. Because white people know better, they will not hesitate to educate any smokers they come in contact with about how stupid they are. Often times this is done using the information they've learned from the TRUTH commercials.

Ironically, smoking was once a staple in the white community. Schools and offices had smoking rooms and the habit was thought to cause no harmful side effects. Now, white people know better and spit on smokers, banishing them to the outskirts of society. When eating in a restaurant or drinking at a bar, do not make the mistake of lighting up in a designated non-smoking area. You will be severely chastised by at least one brave white person while the rest sneer at you as if you just farted.

The only smokers whites accept without judgment are celebrities--particularly legitimate actors or members of rock bands. Why? Because white people believe that smoking makes these types of people cool and edgy; without smoking, they will lose some of their authenticity-- a very important quality that white people admire. Therefore, its ok to a white person that Sean Penn, for example, smokes a pack a day. He's killing himself, but it's part of his craft.

btw: Even Barack Obama knows white people don't like cigarettes and forced himself to quit smoking before the primaries

Sunday, March 2, 2008


White people don't like being left out. No one likes being excluded but white people especially don't like it because they are not used to it. White people have always been included in everything (except slavery) and it disturbs them when they feel like they are missing out on something.

In order to preempt any feelings of exclusion, white people go to great lengths to be a part of everything they can find: neighborhood associations, political groups, animal rights organizations, booster clubs, parent-teacher groups, book clubs, country clubs etc. White people are game for anything that entitles them to a card certifying their membership and requires them to pay dues.

In addition to pointless memberships, white people are also known to employ a less difficult, but just as effective, tactic for avoiding exclusion: gossipping about the people around them. Never underestimate the power that this behavior can provide. It serves two functions: one, it includes them in "the loop" of people who know the information and two, it provides them with firepower if they ever need to launch a quick counter-offensive against someone who is attempting to exclude them.

"Sorry Sharon, I wish you could go to lunch with us but its just the people from acccounting that are going."
"Oh ok John. Hey, I just heard you have a nasty case of IBS. I'll ask around the building while you're gone to see if anyone knows a good doctor."
"You know what Sharon, just come with us".