A blog about stuff white people don't like

Because white people dislike a lot more stuff than they like.

Friday, February 29, 2008


White people don't like being sunburned. It's hot, it itches, and it makes you feel like you're rubbing your body down with sandpaper when you try to towel off after showering. Anyone vacationing with a white person will no doubt witness one of two different approaches to skin care.

The first approach involves extreme caution. This type of white person is NOT going to risk it and will make themselves look like an ass on the beach before they are forced to peel their skin off a week later. Wide brimmed hats, excessive application of sunscreen that is not rubbed in, and frequent trips inside are all mandatory. This person is easily identifiable not only by their outfit but also by their involvement with everyone else's approach to sun protection. Note that these types of white people are usually older but on rare exceptions can be younger if the particular person happens to be fiendishly pale.

The second approach involves no care at all. This type of person throws caution to the wind when they venture outside. It's a stubborn attitude that is no doubt brought on by the frustration that a melanin deficient body provides. Too many trips to the store for aloe vera can wear on a person. Go to the beach with this type of white person and after offering them the SPF 35 you may hear a wide array of responses:

"No thanks. I get burned every year and I'm convinced there is nothing I can do about it. Plus, deep down I think I look a little better in my beach clothes beet red than I do pale."

"What are you kidding? I don't need sunscreen. I know I'm pale 12 months out of the year but I swear I can tan pretty easily".

"Leave me alone. I'm on vacation damn it and I payed a lot of money for this Sandals resort package."

btw: the first approach is usually adopted after multiple experiences with the second approach

also btw: all the pictures on the Sandals website are of white people

1 comment:

robertbeckius said...

oi, you can't talk for every white person in the world? I'm white and I like alot of things you say white people does not.